Exploiting the Thermoelectric Effect

Back in the mists of time, as an avid student of physics, I was introduced to the thermoelectric effect.  This manifests itself in a number of ways, but at its simplest it says that if there is a temperature differential across a conductor then an electric current will be induced.

Some years later, I developed a potential application of this effect to provide an added fillip to couples (or potentially larger groups) during an amorous encounter.

At this stage, I should probably admit that I was a rather less avid student of biology, and dropped the subject altogether in the 3rd form.  As a result, I am fairly familiar with the respiratory and digestive systems – but may be on shakier ground elsewhere.

Talking of the digestive system, I always felt that the term “alimentary canal” involved rather a poor choice of geographical water feature.  Canals were very much designed to be the fastest way to get from A to B, whereas the digestive system strikes me as having much more in common with a river.  The alimentary river rises in the body’s uplands (the mouth as I recall) and at first flows swiftly downhill.  Later in its course, the alimentary river matures and meanders through the lowlands of the intestines.  I think this also helps to explain the appendix, it must surely be the digestive analogue of an ox-bow lake. I must admit I struggle to incorporate the estuary or delta into this scheme – but I’m sure this could be achieved.  In these days of public sector spending cuts, I believe this scheme could help as it would enable biology and physical geography to be taught simultaneously with a commensurate saving in teaching resource.  But I digress…

To return to the thermoelectric effect, it occurred to me that the human body is a conductor (hold very tight please).  During the act of physical lovemaking, those parts of the body most directly involved in the action are significantly raised in temperature.  If one participant was to place one (or more) of their feet in a bucket of iced-water, then a significant temperature differential would exist across the leg (or legs) in question.  As a result a current would flow along the leg, adding further nerve stimulation to the warmer areas of the participants.  I feel sure that this would augment the experience for the inamoratos (inamoratas?) as all pleasure is intermediated via our nervous system.

As yet, I have been unable to find any couples with sufficient scientific curiosity to put my theory to the test – so it’s over to you.  If nothing else, it would give you a perfectly valid excuse for getting cold feet about a relationship.

Feel free to continue the lunacy...

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