I’m a fun guy – maybe…

Well, it would seem that my pets were not friendly (or even hostile) bacteria.  They survived the full week of flucloxacillin without a scratch (and, I more-or-less managed to work my mealtimes around the rather strict tablet-taking regime – to be honest, it might have been easier if I’d had to collect them, one-by-one, from the top of Mount Sinai), which means they aren’t bacteria.

The new theory is that it is a fungal infection, and so I now have some nice cream (called Daktarin, which does make me wonder if some of its ingredients came from a cross-eyed lion) which I can apply whenever I want – without the slightest consideration of when I last, or will next, consume nutriment.

I suppose it should come as no surprise that fungi have started growing on my body given the enormous quantity of mushrooms I consume – plus, my ankles (at least over the winter months) are generally kept in a state of permanent darkness (though I have yet to cover them in manure, well not deliberately).  If the darn things would just produce an edible fruiting body, I might be willing to let them stay.  It would be the ultimate grow/pick your own experience – just reach down to your ankle and there is the basis for lunch!  All of which makes me wonder if I could infect my other ankle with forced rhubarb?  Though I suppose it would mean having to keep my left sock permanently damp…

Feel free to continue the lunacy...

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