The one with the flake in it

Despite the powers-that-be at Channel 4 ensuring for the last decade (and more) that at any time you can be guaranteed that one of its myriad channels will be showing an episode of Friends (it’s analogous to never being more than 8 feet from a rat), I am strangely (perhaps, inappropriately) proud never to have seen one in its entirety.  It hasn’t been easy, let me tell you, but despite my total abstinence some knowledge of the sitcom has wormed its way into my brain – and the title of this post could easily have belonged to an episode from that much repeated series.

But I digress, the allusion is obviously to ice cream as this post is number 99 (and if mere mention of a flake causes you to imagine the author lying languid and naked in an over-flowing bath, then you should probably see a trained psychiatric professional).  It was either ice cream, or a reference to Maxwell Smart’s significantly more competent partner – and even I’m not old enough to remember her, so I eighty-sixed that idea (there will be a prize for understanding that gag).  This post represents a nervous number for a batsman given our decimal counting system: can this blog make it to its first century?  Or will it find itself the electronic equivalent of lbw?  Of course, had cricket been played in ancient Babylon a score of 100 would be meaningless – batsman would be aiming for 60 runs as the key milestone of an innings and 59 would be the time for nerves.  But advanced as the peoples of ancient Mesopotamia were, they never developed cricket – probably as well, not sure their maths could have handled the Duckworth-Lewis method.

I wonder if I will receive some sort of telegram from the Queen of WordPress when I reach 100 posts?  Is WordPress even a constitutional monarchy?

As you can read, excitement is mounting here in Fish Towers but I am starting to feel some pressure to pull something special “out of the bag” for post 100.  Get your suggestions in now if you want to be a part of blog history!  You should be thinking Henry V and St Crispin’s Day here – you’d hate to think yourselves accursed and counting your manhoods cheap (heaven forfend) when this blog breaks into 3 figures!

4 thoughts on “The one with the flake in it

  1. matathew says:

    Re: “a reference to Maxwell Smart’s significantly more competent partner … so I eighty-sixed that idea”, I think Smart was Agent 86 and eighty-sixing (I learn) means kicking out.

    I’ll try to come up with an idea, stiffen-the-sinews style, for post 100. How about a link to a youtube video, starring yourself (not necessarily on horseback)? Talking, as you were, of “hundreds” and “manhoods”, I expect you know that the Selsey Peninsula was at one time known as the Hundred of Manhood.

  2. Stuart Ffoulkes says:

    I really should be more careful about offering prizes in a world which contains Google (other search engines are available) – and you are quite right about 86ing, a phrase I learned from the movie “The Sure Thing” (where I also learned how to shotgun beer and a few other useful phrases which might appear in later posts).

    Nevertheless, despite my foolish bravado, this is a blog of its word and so I shall arrange a suitable prize for when next we meet.

    I do wonder if the world ready for moving pictures of the author (or, for that matter, static ones)? I have (very occasionally) been seen astride a horse – including in Monument Valley and Iceland – but I really don’t trust our equine friends, so should I attempt vlogging it will not be from the back of a white charger.

    That is a seriously good Selsey-based fact! I had only previously linked Selsey to Bill and Patrick Moore.

  3. Semibreve says:

    In which case, can I have the prize as I knew what it meant without recourse to Google. I had no idea of the provenance thereof, just that it meant that something should be taken off the menu.

    So you won’t be filmed on horseback, nor in an overfilled bath. How about in a field of sunflowers?

    Your reference to being 100 not out brought to mind the Sage of Cricklewood and his last (that is, final) book, 69 for 1. Such a shame he was 69 all out.

    So, let’s do a social ton up and make your hundredth missive a blog worthy of the milestone.

  4. Stuart Ffoulkes says:

    I seem to have missed responding to this comment, until I discovered a new feature of WordPress (new to me I suspect, rather than new to the world), which is remiss of me.

    A field of sunflowers I would definitely do.

    BTW: I didn’t say I wouldn’t be filmed in an overfilled bath – I merely suggested that any readers imagining such a scene might be wise to consider that this was an indicator of their deteriorating mental health. Under my somewhat unfashionable attire, I’m really quite buff (in at least two senses of that word).

    However, I’m not sure the first video element of this blog should be of the author, stripped for action (as it were) reclining in a bath (though it would not be my own, as I’m not overfilling that and flooding the house, plus I’m more of a shower person to be frank). Perhaps for post 1000, if I’ve not reached too advanced a state of decrepitude by then, I’ll get my six-pack out for the lads or lasses of the GofaDM massive. Prepare to swoon…

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