Crockery mockery

An attractive chap or chapess may be referred to as dishy – well, they may be in these Isles: whilst lacking any etymological insights, Mr Collins does suggest that the rest of the English-speaking world may not share this particular usage.  Even here, you never hear tureen-y, plate-y or bowl-y used, certainly not as a compliment.  Surely, bowly or tureeny should be like dishy, but with a bit more depth – and, thus, a more complete blandishment (or even flan-dish-ment).

You can compliment someone (normally a lass) by saying that they a possess a porcelain complexion – though less often than formerly, given the strange immanence of fake tan these days (though, I suppose it is safer than covering your visage with white lead).  Try comparing a lady’s complexion to Delft, faience or earthenware and you will be met with incomprehension or a swift right hook: but I feel earthenware is a particularly good choice of simile for the fake tan generation.

It would seem that tableware similes are not (generally) considered the sincerest form of platter-y.

No-one ever sails in a gravy boat (or would they be powered by steam or diesel engines these days?), but many of the political elite are all too keen to climb aboard the gravy train. The gravy car and gravy plane have yet to enter the public consciousness.  However, there is one area of transportation in which crockery reigns supreme:

The vessels used by aliens to cross interstellar space (prior to grabbing intellectually challenged Americans for probe-based experiments of questionable utility) are always described as flying saucers (even in French!).  No-one ever sees (or even claims to see) a flying cup or demi-tasse – do they remain in orbit as the handle would adversely affect their performance in the earth’s atmosphere?  Mr C is pretty clear that a saucer should be associated with a cup – and given the rarified nature of the interstellar medium cup-based travel between the stars should not be an issue.  Are flying cups one of the secrets our governments are keeping from us?  Is one, even now, being analysed in Area 51?  Could I create a whole new conspiracy theory?

Writing of saucers and similes, I feel that saucery is less a comparison (though I suppose one could describe a small plate as being quite saucery) and more the magical power to control crockery – or perhaps just to create a perfect a roux (Alain?).

Feel free to continue the lunacy...

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