With child

No, I have not defied medical science and managed to fall pregnant (and to be honest, this is one boundary of science against which I have no intention of pushing), but I still have an exciting week ahead of me.

Talking of children (or at least their production), I do worry that my last post – encouraging the slaughter of rabbits as it did – might be considered inappropriate the day before the Easter Bunny is due to visit.  In my defense, I did suggest waiting until the shops open tomorrow – by which time he would have executed his chocolate ovoid delivery duties (and so be ready for execution of a different feather).

But let’s return to my week (hush your moaning, it has been clearly established that this blog is all about me).  I am planning to take my avuncular duties to a whole new level and entertain my nephew in London for a day (or die in the attempt).  Lest you fear for his safety, I have done this once before when a friend left his son in my custody for a whole day in London.  I feel this went rather well, and the object of my attentions escaped unscathed from the experience.  He has even subsequently managed to grow into a well-balanced adult (it was a few years ago, but I reckon parenting is like riding a bike).  That day taught me two important lessons about parenting: (i) don’t buy a long island iced tea for a 10 year old (luckily I realised the rather high alcohol content of this particular beverage just in time) and (ii) if you try and fill the child’s entire day with excitement you will end up very tired (as, it transpired, did he).  Let’s just say, I put the loco into in loco parentis (in its Spanish sense at least).

So, roll on round two!  I have a full day of entertainment planned and all the main activities have been vetted with real parents.  As a further safety precaution, my nephew will be bringing his mother with him.  So, that should limit my opportunities to corrupt the young (unless I’m quite subtle about it).  The Uncle of the Year Award must surely be within my grasp.  Well, what could possibly go wrong?

Watch this space…

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