Or perhaps it should be Magyar rather than German? Either way, this post is all about three Hun dread. Yes, GofaDM has reached its third century – though it probably feels longer.
I had considered a video post, with the author stripped to the waist and oiled for battle to generate a worldwide outbreak of swooning at his chiselled torso (though I should warn you that my woodworking skills are almost non-existent: it was a great relief to both my woodwork teacher and me when I was able to quietly drop the subject). However, on further, immature consideration I decided against this plan: whilst the internet would no doubt furnish an audience for such a spectacle, I think there is already quite enough material in rather dubious taste available to the surfer without any augmentation at my hands. I also remembered that the eponymous apple probably represents my closest approach to the concept of Spartan. It is also worth noting that rather more than 300 souls faced the King of Kings at Thermopylae: what with the allied Thebans and Thespians (yes, apparently the Spartans had their own version of ENSA) and the helots (who had little choice in the matter). Leonidas and his followers may not have survived the battle, but I’m sure he’d be thrilled to know that he has now been immortalised in Belgian chocolate.
Still, few would have thought, way back in the more innocent days of 2010, that I had quite so much foolishness in me – or quite so much commitment to the project. Nor that it would escape the censure of the United Nations Commission on Human Rights for so long.
I had thought that my rather ordinary life would soon stop yielding new material: but apparently not. It does so help to set the bar low in life, unless one is attempting limbo. Despite the volume of material now produced, I fear I am little closer to a viable stand-up act, sitcom or side-splitting panel show concept. I wonder if I may be spending too much time preparing weak jokes that require a detailed knowledge of the works of both Olivier Messaien and Douglas Adams? The audience for which can probably be counted on the fingers of a very clumsy threshing machine operator.
Oh well, if I fire enough arrows one may eventually hit a target: or at least identify a suitable burial site for my writing career (I am from Nottingham, after all). Until, then the punishment (and those first three letters were fully intended) will continue until morale improves.