It is sometimes feared that the art of storytelling is being lost, so I thought it was time that I made my own a modest contribution to the corpus:
Many years ago, Mr and Mrs New were delivered of twin sons – who they named Neil and Nigel: they were, it would seem, as fond of alliteration as many a poet and headline writer. As the two boys grew up, they each found an affinity with the Anglican faith and after school went on to Theological College. Whilst unremarkable students, both qualified in due course and went out into the country to start their ministry.
Their sermons whilst not necessarily inspiring were generally pleasingly brief, they avoided scandal and offered decent pastoral care to their congregations. However, it was in the field of fundraising that both brothers excelled. Many a church owed its new roof or improved heating to the efforts of the two brothers.
It could certainly be said that the Church of England’s improved financial position owed a great deal to its additional Rev. N News.
OK, I’ll admit that for the grammatical purist they should be described as the Reverends N New – but sometimes one has to be a little flexible with the rules when in pursuit of a poor quality pun!
