As I was compiling a less than thrilling compendium of my weekend’s activities (or at least the one’s I was willing to share with the general public) and the damage I sustained in the enjoyment thereof, I missed perhaps the most seismic of all the occurrences from the litany.
Oh yes, the medium of the blog may soon no longer be sufficient to contain my creative genius. As I wandered twixt the Courtauld and Last of the Hausmanns, strolling along the South Bank I made my television debut. Well, I may have made my debut: as I was recorded I may yet end up on the cutting room floor, but I have high hopes as it is well-known that I have great screen presence and I was wearing my burgundy trousers to boot (oh no, I didn’t just stop at the plum).
To my chagrin, if broadcast this appearance will be on BBC3 and will feature me trying not to walk into a female comedian of Irish extraction (despite her rather erratic behaviour). I had always rather fancied I would break onto the screen via a BBC4 documentary – either as the subject or front man – but you have to play the cards you’re dealt. I’m sure once directors and casting agents see me, offers should start flooding in. Well, a chap can dream…
Glimpses of a disturbed mind 
I think the burgundy trousers would indeed give you “screen presence” in spades … but more importantly, were you wearing that natty little Swedish jackette?
And even more importantly still, I hope that the OU (Open University) will be more successful than OU (Oxford University) in training your good self in the subtle art of the apostrophe – I do feel that the first sentence has offended one’s sense of where ones are needed.
I am sorry to say that I was not wearing the Swedish jacket which has brought such amusement to your life (but which has not engendered a similar reaction in its many other viewers). The day was warm enough to permit me to go jacket-free.
I can assure you that Oxford University taught me nothing at all relating to the apostrophe – whilst the typographical mark is used extensively in the study of Pure Mathematics, it is usually referred to as “prime” and not used for punctuation. The other OU have also done very little in this field, though would mark me down for incorrect usage,
Not quite sure what led me to part the word “ones” where entirely unnecessary, I shall blame my partially ex-sanguinated state or worries about the shape of German wholesale power prices in the Spring of 2015. More realistically, it is probably force of habit and the fact that 99% of the time I use the letters o-n-e-s I am using a third person singular possessive – and action daemons can be a powerful force when conjoined with a lax editor. The other OU benefits from far more extensive redaction before it receives my prose – and so is not usually offended by my grammatical failures. Sadly, I am unwilling to spend a week on each blog post – so I fear errors will continue to creep into its contents (though some are later fixed when I re-read back numbers). However, this “one” will remain intact as a salutary warning to all on the dangers of inattention.