Carry on blogging

As may have become apparent, I remain worryingly childish and my brain often strays into the realm of thinly veiled filth (a constitutional monarchy these days, I believe).  My internal monologue (only sometimes unleashed onto the indifferent public) is at times better suited to a Carry On film than to providing an appropriate foundation for a go-getting captain (or at least subaltern) of industry.

A recent 24 hour period was particularly rich in occasions when the world offered me a good laugh at the existence-challenged homunculus that diarises my life.  Firstly, I learnt that the church of St John-sub-Castro in Lewes is to be redeveloped.  One of the plans includes dividing the tower into apartments – an idea I loved, if only for potential to have flats in the belfry!

However, it was over the breakfast table (not mine, I hasten to add) that I rather lost it.  I discovered that my host had taken to playing a pink flute – not only that, but it could boast open hole, skin pads.  I had the opportunity, but resisted, of giving it a blow myself – an activity that could have given new meaning to the phrase “wood wind”.  Lest your minds should have made a bee-line for the gutter (as mine clearly did), here is a photograph of the aforementioned pink flute:

DSC_0138Apparently, it was a much thriftier purchase than the more traditionally coloured woodwind instrument.

This same table – as well as the stuff of fast-breaking – also played host to multiple Arduinos and associated midi-based circuitry and later some “tan-through” keks courtesy of Kiniki.  These final items did seem transparent to a rather wider range of wavelengths of light, including the visible, to me but I was assured this was not so (and was luckily spared a demonstration of either their opacity or effectivess).

A year or two back, this same table also offered suggestive fun in biscuit form.  I’ve waited for my chance and, finally, the pink flute has offered an opportunity to thrust my Dorset Knob into the face of the public (in photographic form).  Hooray!


Might I propose that this table (and its curators) be saved for the nation as a gift to double-entendre based comedy writers everywhere!

3 thoughts on “Carry on blogging

  1. Stuart Ffoulkes says:

    I fear it is dreadfully poor form to comment on one’s own blog. In my defence, I will say that this is less a comment and more an attempt to follow my own exhortation to readers to “continue the lunacy”.

    While my inner SId James is out of the bottle (like some sort of Cockney genie), there is one more of his recent outings I thought worth a mention.

    As part of a tradition going back to childhood, I like to take a piece of fruit of an evening – usually an apple as it can be eaten whilst retaining clean fingers. At this time of year, and given the supermarkets’ purchasing policies, the range of apples grown in the sod of these fair isles is quite limited. I try to keep packaging to a minimum (where possible) and so for the last few weeks I have been gleefully buying a “bag of cox” and sniggering to myself as I do. The thought just never grows less amusing – perhaps boosted by the transgressive thrill of thinking it in Waitrose, where our PM believes a better class of people (and I) shop.

Feel free to continue the lunacy...

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