Unexpected Statements I

The title suggests that this could be the first of a whole new thread – however, given the capricious nature of the commissioning editors here at GofaDM, it could die the final death after this single outing.  We’ll all have to wait and see.

Anyway, during the course of going about my business today I came across two statements I never expected to see.

Statement the first

When I dropped my poor, cracked watch off to be repaired I noticed a much more expensive (though admittedly less broken) timepiece described in breathless prose.  This prose including a description of the watch as “timeless”.  Surely this would render the device a mere bracelet?  What are they teaching people on marketing and/or (or for the Boolean among you “or”) copywriting courses these days?

Talking of watches, does it please others (as it pleases me) that the second hand is very much the third hand in every practical sense?  I suppose that if you bought a used watch, you would have a second hand second hand, though not sure that would make it the fourth hand.

Statement the second

On the front page of the Guardian’s website was an article entitled “23 recipes for leftover cheese”.  I must admit I have never encountered the concept of “leftover cheese” before – is it a new oxymoron young folk use in the playground?  In my life, there is briefly cheese and then there is a state I like to call “no cheese” – I think it evaporates.  What next, recipes for hen’s teeth and frog fur?

To their credit, the story was quickly demoted from the front page – and I was forced to use search to prove to myself that I hadn’t just imagined the whole thing.  Nonetheless, it makes you think about the poor benighted souls that exist out there in the world beyond my ivory (or might it be Gardenia?) tower.  Probably the same people who would use “spatulate” as a verb.  We can only pity them!


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