In need of a hive?

These past few days, Bs have been playing a rather significant part in my life.  For those of you reading this post in person, I am clearly referring to the letter B, rather than to the social insect – however, I assume that most serious readers will have hired a decent Shakespearean actor to read the blog aloud to them, perhaps with their breakfast kedgeree (well, it offers that additional gravitas that GofaDM, if not deserves then certainly needs).  Effectively, in a nod to Sesame Street, today’s post is brought to you by the letter B.

With the second letter of the Roman alphabet uppermost in my mind, the little grey cells started a-whirring.  If Spears were to produce a version of their best-selling board game tailored for the ventriloquist community, presumably the letter B would be worth significantly more points than in the standard English version of Scrabble (whilst G would be lucky to score a single point).  Gut, I gigress…

The last few days I have been enjoying many of the musical offerings of the “main” Festival – and there have been a lot of Bs involved.  Bach, Bartok, Beethoven and Britten have all been performed for my listening pleasure – and have all been excellent.  The standard of classical music I’ve seen from the EIF over the years has been consistently very high – either down to their standards or my skilled selection (you decide).  As is so common with B (especially in this blog), S has also been in close attendance – a pair of Schus – “bert” and “mann” – plus Symanowski.  There was also some Mozart and Tippett – but they are harder to fit into my selected paradigm.

I have once again been reminded of what a stunning pianist Piotr Anderszewski is – apparently, according to another concert-goer, he is a bit of a dish too!  I’ve also had my first exposure to Britten’s War Requiem – rather appropriate in this centenary year – which is a very powerful piece.  As a result, I learned that I do not give good “interview” having been harrowed both emotionally and physically (the upper circle of the Hall of the House of Usher – as I insist on calling it – has the best acoustics but minimal legroom) for 90 minutes – so I hope my incoherent response to the piece is safely languishing on the cutting-room floor by now.  I presume I was picked out as I am so relatively youthful compared to most of the audience at such events – in fact, whenever I see empty seats at an otherwise sold-out event, I do worry that the seat holder has passed beyond the veil between booking and attendance.

I’ve also noticed that mobile phones are far more likely to go off inappropriately in a classical music concert at the Queen’s Hall than they are at a comedy gig.  Is this down to the difference in age or social class of the audience?  Or is it the terror of being picked on by a comedian?  In an episode of White Collar, Mozzie has a device which can block mobile signals over a modest area – assuming this is not fictitious, I’d have one deployed in every entertainment venue.  Actually, I’d quite like to open a cafe/cake shop where not only is there no wifi but all mobile signals are blocked as well. It would act as a welcome haven from the desperate pace of modern life and offer a brief respite from the electronic surveillance of our lives.  Can one purchase lead wallpaper, I wonder?  Or would tin foil be enough?  I feel an experiment coming on…

Looking back over this post, it does have rather too many “gags” that only work if read aloud – so, let’s have a final one.  So full of Bs has my week been, that one day I even had lunch at a restaurant named The Apiary.  Speaking of which, am I the only person who wishes that apes were kept in a beeary?

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