Railway lipogram

Oulipo ahoy!  All down to Ian McMillan and his radio companions…

On arriving at Southampton, I stand to part from train – spotting sign by door as I do.  All things must avoid proximity to train door, it says (though not using such circumlocutory phrasing).  I find I am without my vacuum pump and so air blatantly mocks this railway company’s foolish command.  I also worry that I would find it difficult to withstand any Ursus maritimus with a wish to hang out by this high-risk door.  Your author too literal again?  Total application of this instruction is (luckily) not for yours truly to pull off, I might posit, and a lax out-turn was always going to occur.

But can you spot what is totally lacking from today’s post? Surprisingly hard to do, but I am an idiot (frankly) for trying.

Feel free to continue the lunacy...

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