Of the species is deadlier etc? No? Oh well, back to the original plan…
I may have hinted that the weather over the last few months has been a immodestly moist and bracingly breezy. I shall now go even deeper into the territory of the Daily Heil and form a tenuous link to the frequency of refuse collection. Fear not, I shall continue to avoid blaming foreigners and or the young for everything at variance with my increasingly narrow world-view and shall make no claims as to which objects or concepts might cause or cure cancer.
As a result of recent climatic conditions, in front of the bike store where my modest selection of velocipedes shelter from the elements (spoiler: the store provides little protection from gaseous molecular nitrogen or oxygen) there is a definite strand-line. At present, this pseudo-beach is mostly covered by drift wood – I have yet to spot a mermaid’s purse or beached jellyfish, but I’m not much more than a mile from the sea so it’s probably only a matter of time before one finds its way here.
For reasons best known to itself, the city council has not collected our glass recycling for a good six weeks now. If they leave it much longer (given the bottle-rich time of year), I should have enough raw material to establish my own glass recycling business! As a result of the build-up, I have been sorely tempted to put one of the many uncollected bottles to use. My plan is to place a written message within the bottle and leave it, under cover of darkness, on the nearby strand-line for some child or gullible adult to discover. I think I shall distress the message using some cold tea to give the feeling of antiquity and will write in a foreign language and include a cry for help – but beyond this basic conceit I’m struggling for killer content. Any ideas will be gratefully received and may appear as a story in The Echo is weeks to come (if my plan is a success).
Oh, the title? Well, it struck me that a message-in-a-bottle could be considered vitreous mail.
